Newsletter w/c 19.4.21

Fixtures for Saturday 24th & Sunday 25th April 2021

Selection

Match Reports

Old Meadonians 1 – 2 Old Wokingians

A 1pm meet which only a few made due to horrendous traffic wasn’t the best start to the day, rumour has it that Joe Jones and Brandon are still stuck in traffic with Joe chewing Brandon’s ear off about how healthy he’s been over Lockdown. The lads should have taken a leaf out of Medish’s book and all turned up on our bikes.

After we all eventually arrived, we got a start on pre match prep and received the welcome news there would actually be linesmen for the match. Imagine that? Actual Linesmen in an actual match of football? Surely not.

Credit where credit is due, the Old Meads really bought into the spirit of the day and following on from the minute of silence for Prince Phillip, we decided to hold our own periods of silence throughout the match. You can’t tell me that the boys didn’t respect the occasion, didn’t hear a peep out of anyone.

The first half kicked off and we quickly realised that we were the better team by quite some way, the opposition were about as threatening as a 90 year old with gum disease… toothless.

We played some nice football for the opening stages despite the pitch being harder than Xav’s protective knee strapping.

However, as seems to be the case quite often, we got bored of playing football and looking good and decided to revert to the tired and frustrating route one tactics. Nonetheless, we should have been a couple of goals up and as Gordy so profoundly assured us at half time “don’t worry lads, you’re going to win this”. That prediction didn’t age well.

We started the second half by allowing their player who best resembled Jonah Hill to run past 3/4 direct from kick off, that pretty much set the tone for the rest of the half. We were under pressure for the opening stages but rode the storm and started to come back into the game.

We started to rack up the chances and Connor hit the post after Caino miraculously found himself in more space than Harry has in a kingsize bed. The chances kept coming but we couldn’t put them away, flashbacks of the opening day at Sutts came to mind.

Woking then scored against the run of play after we forgot how to clear a ball after yet another long ball they played into our box and their striker struck a well hit shot into the net. They seemed more shocked than anyone.

From the restart we kept trying to threaten but not making many clear cut opportunities, we seemed obsessed with trying to score the perfect goal and slowing the ball down across the park.

Then, against all odds, their hobbit midfielder hit an absolute thunderbastard of a knuckleball from roughly 86 yards out which simultaneously lobbed and dipped before clipping the crossbar and bouncing in. It was the equivalent of your 2/10 mate pulling Kylie Jenner in a Spoons on a Saturday night- extremely unlikely, not too sure how it happened and he sure as fuck couldn’t do it again.

Despite the 2 goal deficit, Meads rallied and Xav, freshly reintroduced to the action, reminded us what he can bring to the team when he has fully functioning limbs and rolled the ball across on a plate for Medish to tap in.

The late goal wasn’t enough and the damage had already been done, Meads lost to the worst team since the coppers investigating Jimmy Saville in the 90s.

Thankfully, we’ve got a chance to play them again next week on our turf and right the wrongs of today. Some good performs performances hidden away in the mess, notably Joe Rich who picked up the MoM award.

Wig goes to Me and Joe Marshall for handbags, never before have I felt so under threat by a grown man in a hairband

Report from roving Dave Tyler

Woking Keeper but spurned the chances. Woking defended well on a very hard bobbly pitch and cleared off of the line from two corners in the second half. From a rare attack from Woking Meads had chances to clear our lines but placed it straight to our opponents 0-1.

The sucker punch came when another Meads foray broke down near the halfway line and, from a less than dangerous position thirty yards out, a direct shot hit the underside of the Bar and in the net 2-0. With less than ten minutes left to play it was a big ask of a young team to come back. This correspondent left with five to go to avoid the rush exit from the Full Car Park.

The pitch did play its part and Woking coped better with having played many games on it.

Meads could have been two or three goals ahead but a scrappy stop/start game of Football, sometimes not pretty on the eye, did not warrant many goals and the score line was a tad harsh on Meads.

Dave Tyler

Fulham Compton Old Boys 2 – 4 OMFC Wildcats IV – Jugs of beer galore

Game week 2 post lockdown and the feeling that this could be a pivotal game in the race for the top 2 as the Wildcats travelled through the forests of Barnes common to face a Compton side 1 point and 2 places above us. With the inevitable factor of people getting lost pre-game trying to find the pitch I thought best to meet at the hut on the common and walk over as a team… I then got the half of the team with me lost trying to find the pitch… great start.

With Harrison away with the N*SYNC tribute band and Jordan missing a hamstring debutant Matt Campbell came into the squad along with Joshua Fisher who himself had missed significant time through injury. After Compton complaining about our pitch we all expected Wembley, what we got was a rock hard bobbly patchy shit tip surrounded by what looked like a doggers paradise. Off and running and the early exchanges lacked quality, Rob ghosted through the midfield and blazed over, Compton’s forwards did similar. As the first half wore on and the ball finally stayed on the deck, we saw glimpses of the front men linking up (any combination of Kody/Marco/Rusty/Toby) but still nothing of real note. The tide turned and Compton were applying pressure and only some last-ditch work from Marlon and Steve kept the scores level. Unfortunately, the pressure told minutes later and a badly defended throw, 2 weak tackles and a lucky bobble put them in, 0-1.

Then the most schoolboy bit of football ever seen, we kicked off, Aidan had time, slotted it between the full back and CB, Toby in, lob, 1-1. This really hurt Compton who looked like Gemma Collins at a weightwatchers meeting, so we had to make the pressure count, Pokey Sloan corner, ball fell, Toby, turn, 1-2. In the ascendency we pushed for more but this left the lock to our defences chastity belt slightly open some key interceptions from Joshua and Chris, along with a worldy from Rorke kept us ahead at HT.

Second half and we really started to play, everyone on the park knocking it around and Rusty giving their back 4 nightmares, his first touch leading to numerous openings and with Marco and Kody being industrious going forward it was a matter of time before the net rippled again. Compton corner cleared, ball into Rusty, through to Marco, lob, 1-3. Always a tough score to defend so we hunted for more, another amazing move orchestrated by Rob and Marlon got the ball to Rusty who’s shot was blocked but fell to Toby at the back stick who drove home, 1-4. First club hat trick for Toby who then thought he was playing at the Bridge and subbed himself off expecting an ovation.

We did slightly tire from this point and spurned some key chances allowing Compton to get back in the game, but plenty of dogged work from all was keeping them out. Shout out to Matt, Kody and Joshua for chasing every ball down out wide and winning countless throws to ease the pressure. Rorke made a couple more classy saves and could do nothing when Compton scored their second from distance but we held on from there. A fantastic performance all round no one could be faulted and we put ourselves in a great position for finishing in the top 2.

MoM – Toby with a no doubter, classic poachers hat trick from the Wildcats Franny Jeffers.

WIG – Toby, took Marlon out in the first half, subbed himself off after scoring a hat trick, terrible clobber.

Squad – Rorke – Clemo – Steve – Chris – Marlon – Rob – Aidan – Marco – Kody – Toby – Rusty – Joshua – Matt Special mention for Rorke bringing his Mrs who then text him all through the game telling him how amazing he was playing and how much she loves him. Rorke then sent these messages to Kody and asked him not to show the boys… well…. Thanks Rorke

Meads 3s vs Shene OG

The 3s arrived in this game off the back of a disappointing week in which we had lost both double headers to Woking, despite the fact that our general play had been decent, as we never got close enough to scoring and were outdone by some soft goals in the 1^st game and a worldy in the 2^nd.

We had also lost a few players to injury, and with the pubs reopen lost a few more to booze…so we came into this game with 12 players and without a recognised centre back. I elected to start with the unfamiliar, and fairly short (!), pairing of James Allison (who had at least played CB before) and Jack Book (making his debut there but chosen for his reading of the game).

Luckily Shene are a side less about hitting the big men up top than our previous opponents Wokes and Seds, plus Jack took to the task like a duck to water, maybe we’ve found our own Mascherano…Having 2 ‘midfielders’ that are comfortable on the ball playing CB also helped with playing the ball out from the back, and once again we were playing some nice stuff but it was breaking down on the edge of the opposition area. Shene didn’t carry too much threat either and the half ended 0-0 without much event.

The half time discussion was about continuing to play as we were, don’t go chasing a goal too much, just try and get shots off quicker when in decent positions as it could always hit a bobble, but let’s be wary of Shene coming out strong in the first 10 mins……it only took them 30 seconds to score, ball played down the left channel from kick off, a mistimed interception and they were in, the cross into the box causing havoc, Conail making a good save to get down at his near post to deny the 1^st shot but the ball bounced up in the air, we managed to block a couple more shots before it bounced up in the 6 yard box for their striker to nod in with Jack Book frantically trying to keep it out on the line but having lost his bearings in the melee only able to help it in.

Meads now needed to do what had been evading us recently and find a goal. I shuffled the pack a bit upfront trying to find the right combinations between Jamie, Nathan, Ruairi, George and Ty, but it wasn’t helped when we kept killing any momentum we had with foul throws! Ruairi picking up the wig for his 2^nd foul throw in 2 weeks.

We thought we might have a chance to get back in it with 20 mins to go, as Ty seemed to be bought down in the area after a loose ball had broken to him but the ref said no.

As it looked like time might run down on us, we got a FK in their half, out wide and 30 yards out, chance to throw the ‘big men’ forward. However as we lined up to take it, Lloyd who had come over to the sideline after his ill-fated attempt at trying to return to playing for the 5s had ended after 20 mins, spotted that the keeper had left a large gap at his near post. “George, bet you £50 you can’t stick it top bins” was the shout, and that was his mind made up despite my ‘no, Vinny, no’ like pleas for him to just whip the cross in.

Fortunately for everyone, but Lloyd, stick it top bins he did. Keeper still maybe should have saved it…judge for yourself from the video on the club Twitter…but it was 1-1 and Lloyd’s pocket was a little lighter. 5 mins later and we get another FK in a similar position, maybe a bit closer in….this time Goerge does what I was expecting last time and duffs it straight in the wall.

Game finishes 1-1, a hard earned point. Now a week off for the 3s, before a massive game against Tiffins.

OMFC 6s

The week was consumed by, well nothing. The group chat was as quiet as normal and everything seemed normal. Until Friday hit and we had drop out, after drop out, after drop out. The wonderful life of a Meads skipper. Que me going to bed at 1am after messaging every Tom, Dick and Harry in my phone book and narrowly avoiding having to call upon my 78 year old Grandad*! (*He’s not 78, I don’t know how old he is but he nearly got a text at midnight asking him if he still has boots).

But anyway….

In typical 6s fashion, everyone was late to our 3^rd double header in a row (Still wondering who we have pissed off in this league), because if we were on time, we would be organised and we could not have that!

The game started as scrappy as ever with neither team really taking control but Brent threatened regularly with the route one long ball over the top which our back line dealt with with relative ease.

Meads started to get control of the game about half way into the first half and were creating chances but they failed to materialise. Some lovely crosses from Greg caused mass confusion in the Brent box but Meads did not make said confusion pay with myself and Will both heading just passed the post. I say just, my header ended up on the M4 somewhere.

Other than that, not much to report and the half ended 0-0.

Meads started the second half brightly and really started to put the pressure on. The introduction of Anthony and Sim caused Brent several issues and Brent retaliated by sending on a pacey young striker who started causing us problems. If there is one thing in life I hate, its pacey young strikers!!!!!

When the half starting to get scrappy again, Meads took advantage. A quick ball out from myself to Greg, Greg into Jerome and Jerome into Sim who calmly finished past the keeper. Great team goal, great finish. 1-0.

We were grinding it out, defending well. Last ditch tackles, strikers diving to win penalties (I told him to go away, politely) and with 5 minutes to go, Brent win a corner. The ball is whipped in, Gribbler is fouled and Brent’s striker hammers the ball into the net from 1 yard out. No foul given. 1-1.

Jerome had one final chance to put the game to bed but it was well saved by the keeper. Game 1 ended 1-1.

I had to shoot off after the first game, but was told that:

• We lost 1-0 to an ‘absolute worldie’ scored by a semi-pro player that Henri recognised (We’ve all had trials mate).
• We couldn’t get out of our own half.
• Will went off injured.
• We’re shit!

1 point out of 6. Not a great day at the office and we are now considering our position in the European Super League as a result of the weekends performance.

We go again with ANOTHER double header next week vs Top of the league.

No man of the match votes this week.

OMFC 7s

The feeling within the group is good and there’s a genuine good feeling and thrill to be back. We faced Clissold Park Rangers II (CPR) who are currently occupying 2nd place in the league.

Having had 3 points voided due to Dorking dropping out of the league, we weren’t mathematically completely out of the running for top spot, but we knew it would now be a big ask, we wanted all 6 points from this doubleheader and knew anything less wouldn’t be good enough.

The opening 10 minutes was a mixture of frantic football and really peculiar decisions, most of which were going against us.
We found it difficult to get out of second gear and find our stride, there was no shape, no cohesion and no flow to our game but there was plenty of fighting spirit.

We ended up losing the first game 1-0, a timid freekick somehow got the better of our GK in an otherwise rather boring game.

Anyhow 2nd game we were much much better, Humberto scored in the first half with a nice calmly taken strike under pressure, Carlitos made it 2-0 with 5 minutes to go.

It’s a shame we were unable to take anything from the first match but we dominated CPR in the second game which will prove a huge stumbling block in their pursuit of the title. Our title ambitions were short lived but we’ve looked much better since the restart, hopefully there’s still a twist in the tail to come.